Why do we love Mira Aroyo? Is it because she’s beautiful? Or is it because she’s in Ladytron? Or could it be her postgraduate genetics research at Oxford? I’m probably gonna go with “all of the above.” Here at Hipster Wife Hunting, we like our women brainy and synthesizer-inclined; Mira’s academic and musical credentials hit the bullseye. She even has a Hasidic background, making her our first choice for Hipster Girlfriend You Can Bring Home To Your Jewish Mother. Only potential downside: she’s a pescetarian, which means she won’t eat mammals or birds but she will eat seafood, presumably since fish don’t have souls. This might be a problem for those of us that enjoy eating chicken, or like to bathe ourselves in ground beef (guilty as charged). But hey, for a hot Bulgarian electropop geneticist, we’d be willing to make a few lifestyle changes.
Name: Sarah Lipstate
Age: 25
Let’s not kid ourselves: Sarah Lipstate is basically proof of a higher power. How else can we explain the existence of this Brooklyn filmmaker/sound artist? The idea of a girl who’s all about guitar noise is pretty hot on its own, but a noise girl who’s flat out gorgeous? I mean, no offense intended to Kim Gordon, but goddamn. I gotta start praying more often.
As if that’s not enough, Lipstate was briefly a guitarist for Brooklyn noise-rock heroes Parts & Labor (I’m guessing she was kicked out of the band for making the other members look ugly by comparison). She also recently joined Cold Cave as their new guitarist, and she makes her own music under the alias Noveller (http://www.myspace.com/noveller). I think I’m gonna form a band just so I can ask Sarah Lipstate to join it.
Unfortunately, Lipstate currently has a girlfriend, which basically ties her with Portia de Rossi for the title of Most Attractive Lesbian Of All Time. Still, we here at Hipster Wife Hunting are committed to bringing you profiles of awesome theoretical hipster wives, so we felt we’d be doing a disservice to our readers by leaving out this most awesome girl.
In short: You fucking rock, Sarah Lipstate.
Rating:
(11/10)
Name: Mia Clarke
Age: 26
Bands:
Electrelane (1998 – 2007)
Follows (2008 – present)
Pros:
1) British (hot accent)
2) Probably doesn’t do coke (?)
Cons:
1) British (might still be annoyed about American Revolution, etc.)
2) Probably doesn’t do coke (?)
Rating:
(8/10)
