from lookbook.nu
Hi Audrey,
I am complete and utter yuppie scum. I wear baggy jeans, I don’t spend more than five minutes figuring out what I’m going to wear out, I’ve never been to a concert that cost less than $75 per ticket, I pay more than my fair share, and I drink Dogfish Head beer. Yet I find myself strangely attracted to the hipster lifestyle. Do I have any shot at attracting a hipster wife?
Sincerely,
Yuppie Scum
My Dearest Yuppie Scum,
Well, to be totally honest with you, you sound more like an overgrown bro than a yuppie. But, I’ll let this one slide. Anyways, the question isn’t really about you being a yuppie. It’s more about the scum part. A girl can let baggy jeans slip by if he has ahem, other admirable qualities. While most hipster girls tend to go for dudes with unmedicated bipolar disorder, we will occasionally go for the dude who never hesitates to buy us a drink and actually makes reservations. This is rare, but it happens. We are always not always as superficial as we seem. But we are pretty damn shallow.
Dude, the most honest advice I can give to you is to get a pair of skinny jeans. I promise it will help. Get thee to American Apparel. If all else fails, buy a girl a drink at Union Pool. They will probably go home with you.
xoxo,
Audrey JAPburn
Boys (and girls!), if you have any questions you need answered, you know who to ask. The JAP can be reached at audrey [at] hipsterwifehunting [dot] com.
