Nickname: Sars, not to be confused with SARS
Age: 23
City: Brooklyn
Top 5 Favorite Albums:
I never like answering questions like this, I’m bad at picking favorites… no particular order here:
The Dodos – Visiter
Band of Horses – Everything All The Time
Patrick Watson – Close to Paradise
Talking Heads – Talking Heads: 77
Lynyrd Skynyrd – Pronounced Leh-Nerd Skin-Nerd
What band would play at your ideal wedding?
Without a doubt I would need one of the Daves performing.
David Byrne or David Bowie… would depend on what I wanted my theme to be, I suppose.
If you had a kid, what would be the first song you played for it?
I can narrow it down to two.
“Babooshka” by Kate Bush – no life is complete without knowing the words to at least one Kate Bush song.
“Innocent Child” by Big Audio Dynamite – child in the title, I dunno, it’s a good one.
What decade are you most nostalgic for and why?
70′s… I feel like I could get used to the idea of sitting in a field, drinking a beer, listening to 15 minute songs.
What’s your favorite venue?
I’ve got to say I have a soft spot for Cake Shop, I don’t know why, the sound is terrible, and I can never see anything, but I love that place. I’m also a sucker for Glasslands and though I’ve only been there once, the Knitting Factory is on its way to becoming a favorite.
What qualities do you possess that would make you an ideal hipster wife?
Erm, what is the ideal hipster wife? I guess because I work in music (and I’m kind of obsessed with music) that gives me some points. Music is pretty much the major player for me, I mean of course I like PBR because of how DELICIOUS it is, which of course is crucial. I’m also pretty much always ready to go out, however unkempt my hair may be. Oh, and I have a damn cool dog, named Franklin.
What do you look for in a potential hipster husband?
He must possess:
An opinion on music…doesn’t need to love the bands I love, just needs a point of view
Sarcasm
A good ‘tache or beard
A like for dogs or owns one
A bike, the subway is no fun
And of course, plaid, duh.
So, you did it. You found the girl. She’s pretty, she dresses like a cross between a grandma and a hooker, and she talks like a sailor with the brains of Einstein. Sure, you’re impressed, but you’re shaking in your boots, and now that you’ve got her number… shit, what now? Where do you take your future hipster wifey on your first date? First of all, she’s probably freaking out too. When’s he gonna call? Did I give him the wrong number? Ugh, that dress from Beacon’s totally makes me look like a ho, he probably thinks he can toot and boot it. Well, you can’t tell her to shut up, that’s her roommate’s job. But, it is my job to tell you where to take her so you can have a successful first date. Here, my clueless cohorts, is a quick guide on how to get the hipster housewife you dream of. Read on, boys.
Read more…
Nickname: Zooey Raekwon-el
Age: 22
City: Springfield, MO
Top 5 Favorite Albums:
1. Morrissey – Viva Hate
2. Ween – White Pepper
3. Beck – Sea Change
4. Camera Obscura – Let’s Get Out of This Country
5. Wu-Tang Clan – Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
What band would play at your ideal wedding?
Either The Smiths REUNION, or Yo La Tengo.
If you had a kid, what would be the first song you played for it?
If I had a son it would be Dr. Dre – “Bitches Ain’t Shit.” You have to teach them that life long lesson, and if The Chronic is what does it than so be it.
If I had a daughter it would be Best Coast – “When I’m With You.” I would play this in hopes that she would turn out like me, because isn’t that what having kids is all about.
What decade are you most nostalgic for and why?
I would have to say the 80′s. Glitter, neon, and androgynous men.
What’s your favorite venue?
Great American Music Hall, Red Rocks Amphitheater, and I’m just going to say The Lyric in Oxford, MS. because I saw Ween there and it was epic.
What qualities do you possess that would make you an ideal hipster wife?
I am not only into music, but I’m also pretty obsessed with video games. Especially the classics. Super Nintendo is my favorite system. I enjoy being crafty and creative. I am really down to earth and I think I could potentially be some hipster’s trophy wife… oh, and did I mention I love PBR, walks in the park, and riding bikes.
Why do we love Mira Aroyo? Is it because she’s beautiful? Or is it because she’s in Ladytron? Or could it be her postgraduate genetics research at Oxford? I’m probably gonna go with “all of the above.” Here at Hipster Wife Hunting, we like our women brainy and synthesizer-inclined; Mira’s academic and musical credentials hit the bullseye. She even has a Hasidic background, making her our first choice for Hipster Girlfriend You Can Bring Home To Your Jewish Mother. Only potential downside: she’s a pescetarian, which means she won’t eat mammals or birds but she will eat seafood, presumably since fish don’t have souls. This might be a problem for those of us that enjoy eating chicken, or like to bathe ourselves in ground beef (guilty as charged). But hey, for a hot Bulgarian electropop geneticist, we’d be willing to make a few lifestyle changes.
Nickname: Audrey JAPburn
Age: 20
City: Brooklyn
Top 5 Favorite Albums:
1. The National – Alligator
2. The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready to Die
3. Dead Kennedys – Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables
4. Andrew Bird – & The Mysterious Production of Eggs
5. Wolf Parade – Apologies to the Queen Mary
What band would play at your ideal wedding?
Spank Rock. As long as Amanda Blank was there, too.
If you had a kid, what would be the first song you played for it?
“Naive Melody (This Must Be the Place)” by Talking Heads. that’s sort of a “duh”. I mean, come on, what are you going to play, “My Hood” by Young Jeezy? That’s something I would do, but I’m too nostalgic to not play something by David Byrne.
What decade are you most nostalgic for and why?
I watch entirely too many Audrey Hepburn films (and drool over Don Draper), so yeah, we’re gonna say late fifties, early sixties.
What’s your favorite venue?
Oh lord. There are a few. I like Shea Stadium a lot, even though it’s practically in Antarctica. Glasslands is cute, and there’s this new place called Pyramids in South Williamsburg that’s super cute.
What qualities do you possess that would make you an ideal hipster wife?
Well, besides being able to hold a conversation and cook a gourmet meal, I’m pretty adventurous. I’m really outgoing, I’m very social but I’m not a drunk. Or drug addict. I also live alone, therefore no dealing with nosy roommates. I would say my most important quality is that I possess a George Foreman grill and the entire Planet Earth series on DVD.
Wild Card: When it comes to a guy’s record collection, does size really matter?
Man, I don’t really care that much about records. I don’t. I guess it’s more about the variety and content of his collection. You know what I do care about? Brunch in bed. Ordered off the internet because we’re both that Asperger’s. Bacon-egg-cheese-on a bagel, along with big spoon-little spoon digestion time? Forget your Belle & Sebastian on vinyl, sandwiches & cuddling are what matters.
Audrey will be joining us as a Hipster Wife Hunting columnist – look out for more stuff from her in the future!
